Our Journey From Boracay

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered." - G K Chesterton

Boracay is beautiful and fun, and we'd had a nice break - but check this out for a journey home. I swear to Whoever, every word of this is true.

10:00

C and I order breakfast

10:20

C's breakfast arrives; no sign of mine

10:40

Still no breakfast; ask where it is

10:50

"Sorry sir, cook not understand A B means American Breakfast. He think is bottle of water." "Well I didn't get any water, either."

10:52

Tell waitress it MUST be on the table promptly at 11:15; meanwhile I have to shower, change and pack

11:15

Get back down with bag; still no breakfast

11:20

Breakfast arrives

11:26

Run for ferry

12:00

Arrive at Caticlan airport; passengers for 10:20 flight are still there

12:30

All flights cancelled except for one 18-seater

13:00

Told that remaining passengers will be transferred overland to Kalibo airport, once passengers for the 14:45 flight have arrived as well; those with connecting flight to Hong Kong at 17:45 start to worry

13:15

Lucky(?) few leave on 18-seater

14:20

Nice big bus arrives to take everyone to Kalibo

14:22

Discover bus's aircon is insufficient for 50 hot tourists

16:00

Arrive Kalibo airport; flight now leaving 16:30 not 16:00; they're phoning ahead to delay the 17:45 flight

16:30

THE PLANE ARRIVES! A round of applause

16:40

Board twin-prop plane for "70 minutes" flight to Manila

19:15

Arrive Manila

19:30

Call nearby hotel to check availability

19:40

Get in 'standard meter taxi'. Official gives us piece of paper: "Insist the driver uses the meter. Please call us to report any problems with overcharging. Do NOT give this to the driver." Driver's meter is 'broken'; how about P100? "Stop this car NOW, mister. And no, you can't have my 'voucher'"

19:50

Arrive at hotel in different taxi. Fare is P30; I tip P20

20:00

Check in; C negotiates cocktail instead of breakfast

20:15

Phone to reconfirm flight for 07:40 next morning; OK, but they want us to arrive 3 hours before the flight. "In the middle of the night? Get real. We'll be there an hour before." "OK."

21:30

Go out to dinner (very good)

22:50

Get in taxi to go back to hotel for last drink

22:55

Taxi blows a tyre; we walk the last few blocks

23:00

Arrive back at hotel; phone down to ask how to claim free cocktail. "What free cocktail, Sir?"

23:10

Shout at night manager

23:20

Go for free cocktail (also very good)

00:00

Bed

05:30

Get up

06:00

Argue with receptionist about paying room rate (quoted in US$) in US$; they had converted to Pesos, then back to US$ - adding 10% commission both ways...

06:05

Pay correct amount in US$

06:10

Ask doorman for taxi

06:11

Tell hotel driver, er, where to go; glare at doorman

06:12

Hail passing taxi myself; go to airport

06:30

Arrive airport, check in

06:40

Ask if we get a glass of champagne to justify the service fee, which is 3 times the regional norm

06:45

Fill in more forms; pick slowest queue for immigration

07:40

Depart on 07:40 flight (gasp!)

09:30

Arrive Hong Kong; need another holiday

 

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